Sources close to the family confirmed that Uncle Sam did, in fact, die of a broken heart. It is reported that two years ago, an unknown Illinois Senator, Barrack Spend Orama, was able to use financial backing from the George Sorrows organization, Liberal influence and Leftist political connections to orchestrate a hostile takeover of Uncle Sam's family business in Washington, D.C. Orama appointed himself as executor of Uncle Sam's extensive estate.

Millions of people around the country poured into the streets upon receiving news of the death of Uncle Sam, some with shouts of joy but most others in silence, with only a candle and a prayer. One thing that all agree on, however, is that these are exceptional times and the country is in the midst of enormous change.

Spend Orama conducted an "awe inspiring" patriotic funeral for Uncle Sam in Denver, Colorado which they say was brief, but spectacular. Lady Liberty and her Conservative family did not attend the public performance.

Using well known tactics from European leaders in the 1930's, Mr. Orama and his supporters were able to create and capitalize upon an economic crisis in September, 2008 ("never let a good crisis go to waste") which allowed him to galvanize support for the hostile takeover. Touting this as a personal mandate, he appointed Mr. Rub Emanuel ("Manny") as his Enforcer and a very ill Lady Liberty was promptly placed under house arrest.

People around the country were shocked by the ease with which the takeover occurred and even more shocked by the bold and lightning-quick steps the Orama crew has taken to "stimulate" and consolidate their power. Two of Orama's lieutenants, Nancy "Two-Fingers" Peleni and Barney ("Frankie") Franco are suggesting that, in spite of her health, Lady Liberty poses a security risk, should be put on trial and her voice of dissent silenced.

Well known political commentator, Rush Limburger, of the CIB Institute in New York, contends that the whole affair is a finely crafted conservative ploy and that Uncle Sam is in fact, still alive. According to Limburger; sensing the impending danger, Uncle Sam was secretly taken from Walter Reed Hospital during the night by one of America's patriotic sons, Mike Hucklebee, and has since been reunited with Lady Liberty. Both are weakened but still alive and are recuperating in a small town in Arkansas, not far from Hot Springs.

According to Limburger, the Conservative family is in constant communication with Uncle Sam and Lady Liberty and are preparing to reestablish the rightful ownership of the Sam estate once everyone realizes the extent to which the family fortune has been plundered by Spend Orama.

Mr. Limburger offered the best analysis as a final statement: "Lord Orama has blasphemed all of the sacred and accepted principles that Uncle Sam held so dear. This indeed is one of the most perilous times that America has ever faced. Through national hatreds, wars, economic chaos; Uncle Sam has weathered them all, and he will weather this as well. Lord Orama is having his day and he is unknowingly performing the important role of bringing all of the leftist and liberal skeletons out of the closet. Everyone throughout the country will see these skeletons for what they are. On that day, America will be reborn, Uncle Sam and Lady Liberty will return home to Washington and offer leadership based on courage rather than fear; on morality rather than compromise. That day will mark the beginning of real Hope and Change!

Special thanks to Michael Lightweaver